About a month ago, the house across the street from me was auctioned off. Sweet -- new neighbors -- maybe they will take down that ugly ass fence. Moving day comes and they forget to move the ugly, stained la-Z-boy inside off of the porch. No biggie, they'll get to it tomorrow....
Still there.
Neighbor has taken to sitting on the la-Z-boy and eating cereal, reading, and just hanging out.
Walk out the door one day with my dog. Neighbor yells "Who is that dog?". Dog does not respond.
Walk out the door one day to wait for my ride to work and I notice a black object sitting on top of a pole. Is it a black plastic bag? Nope. It's a crow, impaled on a pole in my neighbor's front yard. Weird. I arrive home from work to find the crow is now on the ground, but the neighbor is hammering more poles into the ground. Later that day, walking dog and encounter sane neighbor also walking her dog. She mentions Neighbor attempted to ask out a woman in her building via a lovely note on the windshield. Woman declined to respond.
Neighbor decorated his front window with cardboard cutouts of arms reaching up.
Came home late one night. Neighbor was asleep in his la-Z-boy (shirtless).
Someone placed inverted beer bottles on top of the poles. Working theory: save the crows from impaling themselves on the poles.
Neighbor has placed a barstool on the other side of his porch. Maybe he is expecting company.
And so begins my attempt to catalog how fucking crazy my neighbors are.
No comments:
Post a Comment